


Dumb and Dumber

by Anonymous



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Let the bastardmen be bastards together, M/M, So yeah, i fucking love these stinky bois, i have to make it myself- disgusting, im only writing this cuz i realized, it's badly written, that if i wanna have more voxval content, what about it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25928191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Vox and Valentino have different reputations to uphold in the public eye as overlords. But in each other's company they don't have to.
Relationships: Valentino/Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Voxval - Relationship, staticmoth - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59
Collections: Anonymous





	Dumb and Dumber

"You're an idiot."

"And you only have two brain cells rattling around in your skull."

"That's one more than you do," Valentino snarled.

Vox, unable to come up with a clever comeback in time, instead opted to gain vengeance by pinching the sensitive antenna in his grip. To which Val let loose a string of salty curses and attempted to rake his claws across the TV demon's screen in retaliation.

A brief scuffle broke out, it was much like the numerous other ones that they had already had in just the previous ten minutes. Each one just ending up with their flurry of limbs entangled in a new position. Vox still had a death grip on Val's antenna, one of his only true advantages against the moth demon and his many arms in this fight. His other hand, armed with blue tipped claws buzzing with electricity, had anchored itself around Val's neck. Not able to look down and much too preoccupied, he hardly knew where most of Valentino's hands were within the knot they'd twisted themselves into. Well, besides the one that was raised high in the air that Vox had already made multiple attempts to reach for.

Of the two antennae that Valentino had, Vox currently only had one held hostage, the fluffy black and white appendage twitching in his hand. If he so chose, he could quickly end the entire fight with Val at his mercy by grabbing the other one with how it was easily within his reach. Blackened and stripped of the hairs the other one possessed, his damaged antenna had been nearly lost in some battle years ago Vox didn't know of and was too delicate, too sensitive, to be treated roughly. A key reason he now often kept both concealed and protected beneath his hat.

But Vox considered himself merciful and thought better at the moment than to cause Val such pain. Instead he tugged the one in his hands and let the fight continue on fairer terms.

"You aren't nearly as high and mighty as you like to think, Tino," he hissed. "You're all show and tell and you know it, that's why you act the way you do. You sure as hell aren't going to scare me off and I'm not going to spare your pride."

Vox winced as one of Val's hands hit the back of his screen, momentarily glitching out.

"And you aren't as smart as people think you are. You're not the same, logical and intelligent man you like everyone to think you are behind closed doors now, are you Voxy? Say what you like but don't act like you're better than me."

Vox sneered. "Well thanks for the input, because apparently your opinion matters so much."

"You're welcome for it, you dense motherfucker."

"Glad we could have this conversation."

"So am I."

"..."

"..."

"Now let go."

Val growled. "You first."

Vox nearly found himself hoisted off his feet as the scuffle suddenly resumed and he reached up and almost snatched the crumpled bill out of the hand Valentino had tauntingly raised above his head. "Then give me back the damn money!"

"Hell no!" Val spat. "It's mine, you owe me for it your damn chimken sandwich!"

"And you fucking stole it from me you money grubbing asshole!"

"How is it considered stealing if you're in debt to me?"

Yanking on his antenna to force Valentino's lanky ass to bend over further, Vox jumped and tried again. "Because I sure as hell didn't give you it! I still haven't asked for that ten cents you owe me, so just hand it over!"

"That's ten cents!"

"And this is five dollars!" Vox argued.

Splaying a hand across Vox's face, Val attempted to push him away. "Says the broke fucker who apparently needs five dollars."

"Say the frugal bastard who won't give up five dollars."

Still locked in arms and glaring at each other, their standoff met a premature end when they heard the rustling of paper from the next room over. 

"Velvet?" They said in unison. 

Putting their grudges on hold; both sinners listened closely. The noises continued, albeit slower and much more quietly as if hesitance could shake their attention now.

"Velvet? Babydoll?" Val started slowly in the soft, sugar sweet voice he reserved only for the female overlord. "You aren't eating the sandwiches we just bought, are you?"

There was silence for a moment as they waited for a reply. Upon realizing the inevitable couldn't be avoided, the muffled sound of paper crumpling and hurried footsteps was left as their answer. Almost in disbelief, they looked at each other, exasperated.

An eager, mouthwatering ride home and a tiring fight. All for nothing as the fruits of their labour was snatched from under their noses. A complete waste.

"We're…beating her ass right?"

"Of course."

"I'll get Vark, he'll make it faster to find her. We can take our sweet time wringing her neck but I want to hunt her down as efficiently as possible."

Fight ended, both overlords separated, straightening out rumpled clothes and each deciding if they were going to beat her black and blue or blue and black.

"I'd expect nothing else from you, dumbass."

Handing Val back his hat he'd knocked off, Vox caught his phone as it was tossed to him. Having only had the last few passing moments to make her escape, Velvet couldn't have gotten too far away from the penthouse- but with how fast she could be there was no telling where she was.

They needed to get searching quickly, it'd be easier with the both of them. And afterall, revenge was a job for two.

"Then let's go, clown boy."

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno if the summary made this story sound a bit more serious than it actually was but I hope yall enjoyed these two bastards getting to be stupid and argue about dumb shit with each other. I've already accepted there's a low chance of their relationship surviving to the end of the show, let alone being somewhat healthy/decent just based off of how their instagram posts seem to be portraying it.
> 
> I believe its been canonically confirmed that Vox has a crush on Alastor, and I don't think this would be a nice little fact that was just confirmed for funsies unless the crew planned to do something in the show with it. Vivzie is planning some nefarious shit, I can S M E L L it. 
> 
> Still, hopefully the instagram posts aren't as canon as I think they are and the bois aren't too bad off together in the show. Because I'm a sucker for the whole "they're complete bastards to everyone...except each other :)" cliche. But for now I choose to see without my eyes and write these two horrible men being sorta soft for each other behind closed doors.


End file.
